Thursday, September 30, 2010

Day 25

Dressing rooms.. even more dreaded than the bees!!!

Whats with these stores and their substandard dressing rooms!

Lets break down these little fun house mirrored torture chambers!

To day I had to go out and get myself a pair of slacks and a nice blouse cause lets face it last years has obviously shrunk while sitting in my closet (there really is not another reasonable explanation as to why they don't fit).
So I set out and go to the best store ever.. Old Navy.. (again shameless plug for freebies =).
There I am, threads in hand waiting in line. Now frick and frack are with me, iPods and DS's in hand. The guy sees me, sees I have TWO kids and proceeds to take me to the worlds only broom closet with a mirror! Really???? Ok.. so we shove into this room like clowns in a car. My poor children tortured and tormented with every button undone as I change into my fab new outfit.

I stand there in my pretty underthings and look around for my shirt and pants I am needing to try on when all of a sudden I realize I am not alone!
I SCREAM!
Holy beejezus! There is another woman in here! She looks so unfortunate too!

Holy beejezus! She has good taste in bras and panties though!

Holy beejezus! It's me!

Well I refuse to believe this woman in MY dressing room is me. This is not my reflection! How do I know this?
I'll tell you...

One.. I am skinny, this woman has has child bearing hips!
You see I suffer from a disease...it's horrible and unrecognized by doctors worldwide but I know as I tell you it, you will agree it is a fast growing epidemic.

Reverse Anorexia!

You see I think I am skinny. My shadow at around 4pm even confirms this. I know that I am a size 2.. until.. until I see a picture of myself or take a look at these stores strategically placed fun house mirrors! It's than that I realize the disease has gotten the best of me.
There is no cure for Reverse Anorexia. (well there is but it involves really disgusting things like working out, eating right and a healthy lifestyle... EWWWW Yuck Blech!)
Truth of the matter... I am not a size 2...the last time I wore a 2 it had a T after it...(for those without babies, that would be a 2T... a kid size). I do have child bearing hips... they are affectionately called Kaitlyn and Nicole! I don't have washboard abs! Or fabulous Angela Basset arms!
But I do have the greatest things in the whole wide world.. a husband who finds me sexy and two girls who when I tried on a shirt ignored the fun house mirror and said.."mom you need a smaller size!"
And with that I took them out to dinner... and they got dessert!

I don't care about the bad dressing rooms, the horrid lighting (really get a photog in there to design that, they would light your customers so well you would see a sales increase!) and the small cramped spaces! I know that when I put my new outfit on and catch my shadow at 4 pm I will so be rocking it out!

Can't cramp my style!




(disclaimer... I do not want to upset anyone who deals with the disease of anorexia. I do not find it a joking matter and please do not take my jokes about myself to be those of me making fun of others who truly suffer from a disease)

1 comment:

  1. I have that same problem. I don't understand why the mirrors out there don't show the 'real' me. Too bad really, they are missing out! hehe

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